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TheStonerPickup?

Artists

byEmma?

Whitford

HarrisonSchultzandLornaShannonarethepolyamorouscouplebehindSexEdforStoners,afree,weeklyseminarforthelucklessinlove,andtheleadorganizersforOccupyWeedStreet,anactivistcoalitionfightingformarijuanalegalizationinNewYorkCity,withweeklyBYO-weedmeetings,phonecallstoCuomo,andStealthySmokeouts。

Theduo,whoaretrainedpickupartists,insistthatpickupissomethingworthtwinklingyourfingersabout。

“Whenyoufeelthatpassionforsomeone,youshouldhavetheskillstogoforit,therightway,”Schultztold?

me。

Lastmonth,IwentovertotheirsmokyEastWilliamsburgapartmenttotalkpolyamory,pickup’sbadrep,andstoner-on-stonervibes。

Lorna[takingalonghit]:Oh,Star?

Dog。

Harrison[followingsuit]:It’sagreat?

strain。

Ohyeah?

H:Marijuanaislikewine。

It’snuanced。

Likeagoodsativamightmakeyoumoreuppityandsocial,and,youknow,agoodindica’snicerightbeforethedeed’sabouttogodown。

Ormayberightafteritwentdown,andyouneedtopassoutafterwards。

Like,getsomecouchlock?

going。

Isthatthekindofthingthatcomesupinapickupclassfor?

stoners?

L:Actually,thethingthatwe’vebeensayingforawhilenow,isthatyoureallydon’tneedanythingtobegoodatpickup。

Youdon’tneedmoney,andyoudon’tneedalcohol。

Becauseallyou’redoingisgoingoutandstrikingupconversationswith?

people。

Sowhydoesyourclasshavethewordstonerrightinthe?

title?

L:Peopledon’tknowwhattheyfrickingwantwhenitcomestotheirromanticlives。

Sotheygoout,theygetdrunk,theyhopesomethingisgoingtohappen,andtheygohomewithasloppylaythattheycan’tevenrememberthenextmorning。

It’sourbeliefthatmarijuanacanbeatoolforbetterpickup。

Whetherit’sforself-reflection,orforactuallycalmingyourneurosesbeforeyouevengooutthe?

door。

H:ButNewYorkisthemarijuanaarrestcapitaloftheworld。

Peopleareevenafraidtomentionthefactthattheysmokepotinalotofcases。

I’velookedatdatathatactuallysuggeststhatpeoplewhothinkmarijuanashouldbelegalizedtendtoactuallyfeelmorealoneinthe?

world。

Howareyougoingtohelp?

them?

L:Well,withweed,you’realreadyastepahead。

Whenyou’reoutinasocialsetting,alcoholsortofbooststheego,whereasmarijuanaactuallyquietsthe?

ego。

Andthat’s?

helpful?

L:You’remoreyourauthenticselfwhenyou’rehigh。

You’renotasworriedaboutwhateveryoneelseisthinking。

You’rejusttalkingandenjoyingyourself。

H:Butpickup’salsoaboutbodylanguage。

LikewhenI’moutonthestreet,I’mlookingforawomanwho’slookingtogetcheckedout。

Ifwe’rebothsmiling,thenit’salmostweirdifIdon’tapproach。

AndthenIstartagoodconversation。

Boom。

Idon’tjustaskquestions。

You’reawriter?

I’vedonesomewritingtoo!

Ithrowinalittlestory。

Addsomevalue。

Andthensheasksaquestion。

AndthenIrelateback。

Touchingshouldstartalmostrightaway。

Likewiththehandshake。

I’mHarrison。

Youlingertoseeifyougetasqueeze?

back。

Howdidyouguysgetinto?

pickup?

H:I’mfinishingaPhDinSociologyattheNewSchoolforSocialResearch。

SoIwaslearningaboutsexualfringecultures,andafriendintroducedmetopickup。

ThenIhadaquarter-lifecrisis,andIwashooked。

Istartedtaking?

lessons。

Theconceptofpickuphassomuchbaggage。

SantaBarbarashooterEliotRodgersusedmisogynistlanguageontheInternet,similartolanguageusedinsomeonlinepickupforums。

AndinNovemberJulienBlancwasdeniedaUKvisabecauseofhisattitudetowardswomen。

Hecalledhimselfapickupartist。

Howdoesthisreputationaffectyourapproach?

H:Thosepeopleweren’tpickupartists。

Butweunderstandthatpickuphasareallybad?

rap。

L:Whenit’sdoneright,pickupisallaboutseduction。

Andthat’snotmanipulative?

H:Assoonasyoustartmanipulating,it’snotseductionanymore。

Trueseductionisaboutgettingtheotherpersontochaseyou。

It’sneversupposedtobetheotherway?

around。

L:Afriendofourswentonadatewithaguyrecently,whocalledhimselfapickupartist。

Wecheckedouthiswebsite,andhehadthesevideosaboutlike,whattodowhenawomanisignoringyourtexts。

Ifyou’reusingthegameproperly,youshouldn’teverbebotheringthepersonwhodoesn’ttextyou?

back。

H:Plus,onceyouknowtherulesoftruepickup,youcantellwhenpeoplearetryingtomanipulateyou。

It’ssocialself-defense。

Thegameispure。

It’sjustthatsomeoftheplayersareslime?

balls。

Ifthat’sthecase,howdoyouguys?

play?

H:IfIseeawomanI’mattractedtoonthestreet,I’lljustgouptoherandstartaconversationandseewhereitgoes。

It’sasocialexercise。

LornaandIaren’tthekindofcouplethat’sgoingtolieaboutwantingtohavesexwithotherpeople。

Therearethreedifferentkindsoflove。

You’vegotlust,whichisconsummatedandfulfilledinthemoment。

It’stemporary。

Butthenyou’vegotsomethingthatlastsalittlebitlonger,calledlimerence。

ThisisthatRomeoandJulietkindoffeelingwhereeverythingelsegoesawayandyou’rereallyhappy,andthatalwaysendsinfuckingtragedy。

It’saformofinsanity。

Andthenthere’sthisothertypeoflove,thisreallypurelove,whichistheideaofpartnership。

Ithinkeveryoneneedsallthreekindsof?

love。

L:WhenImetHarrison,Iwasjustcomingoutofahetero-normativelifestyle。

I’mbisexual,andI’vealwaysknownthat。

I’vealwaysbeenaserial-monogamistwithmen,andI’vealwayscheatedonthosemenwithwomen。

SothisisthefirsttimeI’veactuallyhadthefreedomtoexpressmysexualitytoitsfullest?

extent。

DidyougetintopickupthroughHarrison?

L:Absolutely。

Onemorningwewerewalkingdownthestreetlookingforarestauranttohavebrunch。

Wehadbothbeencheckingthisgirlout。

Andheaskedme,“Doyouwantmetobustoutanapproachinfrontofyou?

”AndIwaslike,Yeah!

Soweapproachedthegirlandstartedtalkingtoher,andHarrisongothernumber。

Igotacompleteoxytocinrushoffof?

it。

Isn’tpickuptraditionallyprettyheteronormative?

Like,themanapproachesthe?

woman?

L:Right。

ButIwouldn’tbeabletoadvocateforitifIdidn’tthinkitwassomethingthatwomencanalsobeempoweredby。

Arethetacticsthe?

same?

L:Lotsofpeopledon’texpectwomentomakethefirstapproach,soyouhavetobeevenmoreconfidentwhenyoudo。

Iusethesametechniquesastheguys:Hi。

I’mLorna。

Ireallylikeyourstyle。

SometimesIgotoBarnesandNoble,oranartgallery,justtopractice。

ButlotsofwomenIteachoptfortheindirectapproach。

Thatmeansusingbodylanguagetomakeyourselfmoreavailable,moreopentobeingapproached。

Maybethatfirstmoveisjustmakingeye?

contact。

Asapolycouple,doyouguystag-team?

L:Ohyeah。

Myturntotalk,histurntotalk?

—?

we’regoodatbalancingthatwithoutbeingobvious。

He’llusuallygoinforthemakeoutfirst,andI’llfollow。

Onceyouknowthatthepersonyouaretryingtogetwithisdownwithweed,takeatokebreak。

That’sareallygoodopportunitytogetitstarted。

Wetrytoalwaysbeprepared。

H:Becausestonersarelikethat。

Useitasanexcusetoleavewhereveryouare,getalittlecloser,andblowalittlesmokeupeachother’s…yeah。

Youget?

it。

Materialforyournext?

lesson?

H:Let’sputitthisway:Atthefirstclass,alotofthepeoplewerestillmumblingwiththeirhandsinfrontoftheirmouths。

Wespentmostofthetimetalkingabouttheimportanceofgoodposture。

Baby?

steps。

What’syourultimategoalwiththese?

classes?

L:Wewanttoopenupanewangleforpickup。

Whereyoucanapproachthiswhetheryou’retrans,orpoly,orlookingforathreesome,orlookingforaone-nightstand。

H:Becausewhenyou’regettinglaidonaregularbasis,youhavedifferentchemicalsrunningthroughyourbrain。

Certainthingsdon’tbotheryouasmuch。

Everyonedeservesthat。

It’sitsown?

high。

ThenextSexEdforStonersclasswilltakeplaceonJanuary6that5:00p。

m。

at60Wall?


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